Slow week

There is probably no justifiable reason for posting a Pet Shop Boys video, but I like the skittles and you just gotta check out Chris's hair... oh dear. I assume their lettering is correct.

You just gotta laugh or have a moan or cry, Cos sometimes things is just wrong, sometimes, just beyond.

Came across the trailer for the Black Dahlia the other day and got all goosepimply from the expert use of one of my all-time favourite tracks ever - Dirge by Death in Vegas, sublime man, anyways I was reminded of the short clip that accompanies the song on the album The Contino Sessions which shows gun fatalities in America in one day and then had trouble locating it on the web (technical problems - services have been resumed). Whilst searching for it I inevitably found the video that went with the single release but I also discovered that the bird singing on it is Dot Allison from One Dove!!! All this time I never knew or questioned... go figure.

Not sure that I'd bother going to see this though when there's fresh Gilliam on offer.

That is all

Milk and cookies

Apart from being just the best bedtime combo ever; Milk and Cookies is just one of the best websites out there...

I mean seriously, where else would anyone be considerate enough to point us towards such a niche market as fart-lighters?

The hard-working boys over at M&C's are constantly reminding me why the internet was invented, fucken genius.

If handy bit's and bobs or well cute and funny don't do it for ya how's about a reminder of the brilliance that is Ok Go?

This last link is just out there but it didn't come from Milk and Cookies; truth is I can't remember where it came from but I had to put it somewhere.

You can find the link to Milk and Cookies in the links list on the right.

Think again...

Think bunnies are cute?

Sure... then check out this website of bunny yawns... disturbing isn't the word... I'm with Anya from Buffy... bunnies is some scary shit... check out the General from Watership Down (No.6), the devil-bunny (No.18), demented bunny (No.22), tortured bunny (No.25), bugs bunny (No.63) and the yin and yang bunnies (No.49)

With top scary going to (No.64) the bunny that hides amongst the toys and jumps out at the least expected moment just to gnaw yer face off... I'm gonna have nightmares...

These on the other hand are very cute and even though the science behind these green rats is all very interesting (especially if you happen to be an endangered species) I think the wider implications are not to be overlooked; colour-coded pets and blue-skinned babies will be all the rage come 2012... I can hardly wait.

Assuming we live that long... I think the best thing about this article is that it also provides a link to a history of failed prophecies... nice.

Is this what they mean by tragicomic?

Finally and totally unrelated to anything previous in this post, is this little tool to tell you how much your blog is worth (thanks to Neil Gaiman for this one) and I'm worth more than I thought... yay me!

Magic

Fairies tend to be elusive little buggers at the best of times... so imagine my surprise upon reading this article, following up on it and actually witnessing the phenomena for myself... magic!

As is this and I really wanted one until I read this article... and I can't get the image of me struggling underneath whilst slowly ripping my belly-button piercing out amid pools of blood... cos I would be that stoopid.

Just like believing poets... or that God is good... or Capitalism works... suckers.

Mushrooms however, do work, vodka is bloody great... and Hollywood need to stop making remakes... talentless demograph-worshipping tits.

Finally, make a note to check carefully next time you watch the Wizard of Oz...

Fairy in the picture above came from this site...

and things that make you go hmm...

Go figure.

Borat

I have to admit, although I love Borat I wasn't particularly enthused for a full-length feature... especially after seeing this which is the current trailer, only then I found Egotastic which is a little (actually way too much) celebrity-obssessed to me; but what they do have is this version of the trailer... and now I would actually go and watch it... piss-funny.

Gay

Gay gay gay, the world's bloody full of it... funny but.

More funny though are the 'kids in the hall' and I'm so happy lil bits keep poppin up all over the place (mostly pistolwimp - Yay!) anyways I'm sure you're gaggin to see some more so here is terriers and then here is nipples followed swiftly by a man of destiny ...lovely.

I found this ages ago but due to an extreme and rampant bout of laziness I never posted it... this too (don't touch it), and this and finally this, I have to go lie down now...

Only... ANYONE who can get hold of a set of these should get in touch with me cos I (really really) want them...

Shit floats

God love 'im

'E's only gone an' done it again... Jarvis of the Cocker has made another anthem for the prole... and it's fucken BRILLIANT!!!

It's called Cunt's are still running the world and this little article popped up after much listening of said track and I only wish I had 63 million uninterested third degree 'friends'...

As opposed to just crybaby (if ever a name fitted).

Might I point you towards your own species of down..?

Love and piece and out.

That is all.

Best email ever...

Every Thursday I get a little email that gets me more than a little excited... It comes from the god-like beings over at PopBitch, anyone who is not already on their mailing list should remedy that situation immediately and then just sit back and wait for the goodies... who could ever forget this memorable picture of Celebrity Big Brother contestant Pete Burns? Beautiful.

This week's offerings though are beyond gold... Big Brother's Imogen aint as boring as you thought... Grace on the other hand just goes from vile to ridiculous.

There was also the usual bits of goss to be had; sparklers such as Cheryl Tweedy's (Girl's aloud) admission that she wanted 50cent to come on her face... classy them newcastle birds...

There was also this link to 1500 80's videos which is good if you're needing your A-ha fix...

Plus helpful survival tips: "You can't eat the liver of a Polar Bear as they contain so much vitamin A they are toxic."

That's not all, even the joke was fantastic:

"Sophie Ellis Bextor was found head-butted to death in the apartment of a French footballer. It was murder on Zidanes' floor..."

chucklsome more than incontinence pants time...

And if all that wasn't enough to convince you how great they are there was also this.

Best Email EVER.

It is contagious...

The picture above is of the lovely Regina Spektor, you may know her from her work on the second Strokes' album or you may have heard her song 'us' on tv as it is featured on an advert for Sky (the one with the guy on the skateboard) and I like it... it reminds me a lot of Joanna Newsom... Whilst on the music front here is some long awaited news on Portishead's next album... Yay!

Musically related are these secret wall tattoos, I'm not 100% what the involvement exactly but Joss Homme (Queens of the Stone Age) has some culpability...

No more musically inclined links as we move on to more general trash...

Came across this website recently Fark.com which has some kick-arse stories that the bigger publications may miss... Genius is a word I am not afraid to use... although holding myself up to be one does somewhat diminish the term...

A bit like the 'war' on terror...

Or Scotland's P.R.

Not like the rest of us Brits get off any lighter in this document... how funny...

As was this although this confuses me as I'm gay, I have one older sibling and she aint no brother... what happened to me?

But then science and nature are wonderous indeed

Go figure.

Love Film?

Want free stuff?
Well who doesn't?

I have been having a ball this summer with tonnes of free dvd's, Heaven.

Basically it's all off the back of those free i-pod giveaway sites, ever the hopeful I wouldn't mind blagging myself one of those. Well basically what happens is you sign up to one of these links:

Freepay or

i-podnano

and participate in one of their offers or more if you feel the need, I took part in four offers in total, firstly because i-podnano refused to credit my first offer and although initially they corresponded with me about the problem, upon sending the proof they requested they then stopped all communication. So really I wouldn't recommend their service as being any good. So I had to take another offer and this time it was credited, but, then I came across Freepay who are offering an actual i-pod as opposed to the weedy i-pod nano. I had to do two offers with them too but only because the first computer I applied on had security measures in place to prevent my application as being recognised.

Anyways the offers I mostly took part in were dvd rental trials and I would recommend you do the same, however be warned about Screenselect as they are really bad; two days to select a title and four days to post whereas Love Film are FANTASTIC: you'll barely be a day without films, I would suggest if you take these trials up that you get the top range package as you will get more films at a time, of course make sure you give yourself enough time to pull out so you don't get charged ( be aware that at weekends - films aren't processed) I say this again in relation to Screenselect who are dodgy robbin cunts... excuse the French...

So go on click on the links, set up an account (Freepay) and rob some free dvd rentals, if enough of you do it (I only need 5!) I should be expecting my i-pod shortly in the post... oh by the way the last offer I took up was with Gala bingo (U.K.) and they match your initial bet up to £10 - I won £200 so if yer feeling lucky (and the offer is still there) try that link.

So there you go begging for a free i-pod, I feel strangely dirty and hopeful, or is that because it's Saturday?

I don't think I have anything else for this post except... did anyone see these: ohmigod I am too excited, somebody slap me.

Something to make you smile

Well hopefully anyways.... first up has to be the photo, it happened months ago but I've been so busy and lazy by varying degrees that it's only happening now for me... Go figure.

Weebl and Bob are still busy hammering away... who knew?

Have you seen the new X-men villain el chupacabra?

Some more old Kid's in the Hall.

U.S. Military make war with love.

Sickipedia collects tasteless jokes for those of us whose only interpretation of p.c. is personal computer...

Have you got any ass-pennies? Probably yes...

Finally in this completely disjointed post of pure links and little rhetoric I give you access to the stars.

Enjoy.

Science corner

Well where better to start my post in Science corner than with this little piece: God is dead after all, only in a godless world; read Americanised global economy, also known as hell, that this sort of behaviour would even be considered. It reminds me of the time that, in the guise of 'helping' third world countries with donations of drugs, some 'first' world countries dumped loads of out of date drugs that would actually cost the poorer countries millions to dispose of legally... that's western charity for ya, go figure. Then I came across this little piece that only reaffirms my belief that drugs should be legalised and taxed; take control away from the crimelords, stop making criminals of normally law-abiding citizens, lose some of the glamour of the forbidden and pay for treatment of those who abuse drugs and end up being abused because of their drug dependencies. Imagine though what the tax income on that one man's habit would have been...

You may be wondering why the picture of Divine in Pink Flamingos? Well let me put you out of your misery, a while ago you may remember I blogged about the gay penguins in a German zoo being allowed to remain a couple (found the post unfortunately the link has died), well now we have two male Flamingos in union and apparently making a great success of parenting that's SO funny: butch pink flamingos! Look at flamingos though, all I can say is I'm surprised it took this long... maybe no-one was watching close enough or maybe it's only now becoming acceptable in bird society to peck open those closet doors. Ain't science wonderful?

Apparently not only has there been more than one big bang but life on our planet dips in accordance to the solar system, fascinating. Strangely (or not so strangely having watched stories almost endlessly repeat in a bid for recognition on the internet for some while now) I blogged about this story a while ago and yet here comes the sun again... (one of the few decent Doves songs), and despite there being a survey recently to disprove horoscopes, there is some evidence to suggest (as I have always maintained) that availability of light at certain times of the year can indeed affect our personality depending upon when we are born.

One of the things you have to love about science is the constant shifting of boundaries when presented with something new, and let's face it: people who express little knowledge of something offer more belief than those who claim full knowledge. As Voltaire said:
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
So who is right and who is wrong? Don't read anything into the way I have presented those arguments, only wouldn't it be cool to scare some people a la 'War of the Worlds' and possibly in my role as social guardian to warn people of the possibilities?

Whatever...

So to the end of the post... and these are the sort of advancements I like to see science making.

Ten penny mix

I came across this website which some may consider to be a tad morbid but does however have some classic last words of famous people among my favourites are Joan Crawford who apparently said:

"Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me."

to her housekeeper, Oscar Wilde's left us with the enigmatic:

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."

Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary apparently (who knew?) delivered the classic though:

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

He should have asked the Cosmos (no it's not another celebrity/fashion magazine) for some inspiration, although as always in these matters I advise caution and be careful what you ask for, funny thing was through sheer curiosity I wanted to find out what the spanish word for lightning was and came across this useful website that considers bizarre little phrases such as: 'he was struck by lightning' to be needed by anyone wishing to engage in conversational spanish. Another spanish-type phrase that I assimilated this week was: 'Diabolus in Musica' which was in an article about the devil's note, fabulous. Speaking of sacrilege, I wouldn't normally condone anyone covering Pixies songs but Frank Sinatra does 'em proud and the Bee Gees keep true to the source. So no problems there then.

What with there being no Glastonbury this year it seems there's a bit of a scramble on tickets for other Summer fezzies which is a shame but then when Glastonbury returns it's aiming to be a little bigger, so maybe there'll be more chance of getting a fucken ticket next year. God I hope so... better stick that one out to the cosmos... and then get onto making and baking some snacks to take with me... I'll probably need some sausages... and some sweets that could inspire another generation of asbo's to run riot wif no respek'. On the plus side; it might actually teach the yoof how to spell the words they abuse on a daily basis.

Worry ye not, for as we speak big brother is upping his arsenal, but it will we be voiced by some slob with an estuary accent screaming 'Shaadaap!' at everyone.

Escape the stress of it all by floating along the skyline with your face in your groin. Listening to your free i-pod nano; sadly this offer is only available in the U.K. and you do have to participate in one of their offers to be eligible, but just do what I did and pick the free dvd trial cos then you get free dvd's for a month and you get a free i-pod nano!

Marvellous.

Things to make and do

It's been a while since I've been here, I am such a busy boy.

Well you've no doubt spotted the picture of Spiderman in his black cossie, looking lovely; any excuse to use that photo really. No I'm not gonna talk about the film as it isn't quite relevant yet but I did want to post a link to this site that has quite a few pictures of some of the shooting and this is my particular favourite.

I only came across them as I was originally looking for a picture of the X-men and got distracted in geek heaven, unfortunately for those of you who do not share my comic obssession this portion of the post will hold no interest so flick on down to the '*'

Firstly I want to know what this 'other' film is as we all know about the wolvie and mags films and neither of them interest me but this third might... anyone know anything?

Found this really bad interviewer onset for the final scene's shooting of X-3, totally bad camerawork too. Funny artwork and dodgy billing there's better bloody actors in the film than that pair... I was excited to hear of this clip of 'the fastball special' and I nearly cried with laughter at the cheapness of the sentinel... or rather the sentinels head... way to cop out man... closer it gets to this films release, its looking more and more like a major farce. Won't stop me from seeing it though...

* Resume reading:

Other things I will be watching for sure are Channel 4's season of offensive comedy.

If they are in production of a film version of Paradise Lost then I'm going to read for the part of the devil... and probably sacrifice some chickens to make sure that I get it.

One thing I have already seen and would like to pass on is this sweet lil animation called Vincent.

One thing I will probably not be watching (no matter the fondness we hold in our hearts for him) is K-9 on his new adventures.

The BBC are holding some sort of seminar thing for people (like moi) who self-publish and stuff with the net... only it seems they are having diffculty in finding people who would attend... even after the offer of £50 to anyone who goes... think I might just pop along there and then spend the money on one of these.

Bric a brac a blog

This post is a complete mish mash of junk; various things that probably wouldn't support a post on their own but can meld together here in a beautiful mixed-up melody.

Lets start off with this ingeniously simple flash animation on the evils of peer pressure and one-upmanship and the crass individuals who perpetrate such an environment, I would like to say you know who you are, but you're so self-obsessed you can't see past your big fat arse or head. The source of this clip is the ever wonderful fat-pie.

While on the subject of animation I came across this odd little film and this rather wonderful piece which can only whet your appetite for the forthcoming live action Transformers film... no? Just me then.

A smooth leap then from animation to coloured snow... seamless, quickly onto alcoholic houseplants and you hardly noticed the transition did you?

You may be wondering what the picture of the stormtrooper is all about, well I was checking out the prices of fully assembled costumes recently and unless I get myself a new sugar-daddy... I aint getting one of these.

Although if I push it, I will definately be getting a set of these.

Science and religion

Oh here we go again, one of my favourite subjects; creationism up for a 'chinning' courtesy of the Royal Society, god love 'em. I know I'll definately be tuning in.

Not that you can argue with people of 'faith' take this recent study on the power of prayer... better still read this version and you will see the time-honoured tradition of sheer idiocy in the name of god:

"Bob Barth of Silent Unity, said the results didn't shake his confidence in prayer. "People of faith don't need a prayer study to know that prayer works," he said."

Give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves... religious zealots are really really stoopid, but the more stoopid they are, the more intelligent people will turn their backs on organised religion, so it's all good as far as I'm concerned. Although I am interested to hear what a once prominent scientist has to say about religion, so over to Albert.

Also of interest this week has been the story of the Judas gospel although reading this article I am confused as to the timing of the whole thing, the most interesting article related to this story has to be this one, yeah just what are they hiding? One of the more startling links within this article points to this and I can't help but see similarities with scientology: Archons indeed.

By the way if any of you out there are interested in which religion the likes of Spiderman, Daredevil or Batman adhere to you can find out here, smashin, just super.

Finally we have this 'revelation' which makes perfect bloody sense to me.

Go figure.

Scary biscuits!

I don't suppose it's escaped your notice but we could have a real-live were-bunny on our hands...

In other strange animal news a monkey trained to move a robotic arm by thought alone... does what any self-respecting monkey would... and flings his faeces.

Toad problems in Darwin have prompted this genius scheme; Australians and free beer, what could go wrong?

Koala's and crocs are the last animals in this post, but what is it with the Aussies? I'm so moving to the southern hemisphere...

If only to escape 'thought crime' or sheer absurdism or such culturally highbrow events as the launching of the butt-bottle rocket which despite my concerns for the iq levels of today's youth is actually really funny, really, and it's always good to laugh at other people's stupidity.

Insomniacs Ball

It has been more than a fucken age since I went to any fezzie of any sort but an indoor fezzie in London? This is a first, and I like firsts.

My fantastic friend Ann has, in her divine wisdom bought me a ticket for the insomniacs ball and I'm kinda excited; it goes on until 6 the next morning so Friday Morning I'll be walking home along the river Thames sometime in the sunrise, people passing me on their way to work and I'll be pissed... nice, classy like.

So who's on I hear you ask (that was you right... the voices haven't come back... right?) well there's tonnes, a total shitload of new bands Art Brut are pretty good Battle too Black Wire are up there but check out their .tk domain and the free domain offers it's all slightly odd if you ask me... there was another band that are playing here with the same tag Komakino and they is also very good. Not only are Cazals pretty decent but they have a nicely designed website; all funeral parlour Victoriana. Another band with a really pretty website are the Good Shoes but it is also worth popping along to their My Space page and check out the video for we are not the same here, sweet lil indie boys (link courtesy of the beat surrender)

To 50's obsessives The Pipettes love the look love the sound, can't help but think of Sarah Blackwood from Dubstar (remember them?) when I hear the blonde do her bit, apart from the nose job she would have needed and the fact that she is now in Client, I'm pretty sure it's not her.

Another band with the .tk suffix are the Holloways and they are fantastic. As with any fezzie though there is some shit on too... British Sea Power, Vincent vincent and the villains great name, crap music. Dustin's Bar mitzvah, inspired name, rubbish music.

Shame they couldn't swap one of them for The Crimea scroll down for the new video or get it here. Or even the brilliant The Automatic; speaking of new videos, I had an email this morning from Video-C for the new Wigwam single. Wigwam for anyone who doesn't yet know are 80's pop icon Betty Boo with Bassist from Blur; Alex James and what the hee-haw it's kinda fun. I like the nonsensical bits in the middle where she makes mad cat-like noises and the video is funny if slightly reckless; encouraging violence against policemen, like they haven't got enough of that already >snigger<

So this year is already lining up to be a goodie first this fezzie and so far I've got tickets for the O2 festival on the night with Bauhaus, Goldfrapp and Depeche Mode; tickets to see the Knife at la Scala and Radiohead at the Hammersmith Apollo... nice... NEXT!

Chikinki

Just the one band in this post, as opposed to a whole host of new music; Chikinki, they aren't even that new to be honest, I first heard all eyes well over a year ago but they never seemed to catch which is a shame cos they do some good stuff.

The video for Assassinator is quite cool and funny and they get nekkid...

If you wanna check out their music there are various places to preview, such as their web-site Chikinki click music then listen to music and scroll to the bottom for All Eyes the video is pretty bog-standard but the tune is sublime, if you want more then some kind person has posted some live stuff over at myspace and X-Fm have posted a few live sessions.

All fall in love with them NOW!

S.H.D

Sexual Harassment Dalek...

Tom put him down... that's not for you...

What is he doing? Well when he's not fondling mass-murdering cyborgs he's reading the dictionary. There are a lot of sites decicated to the best doctor who (ever) so if like me you revere La Baker you should check some of em out.

On the subject of relative cool this little gem was brought to my attention by the uber-cool Neil Gaiman, how great would it be to have secret passageways, or better still, somewhere to put them.

More uber-coolness in this inspirational little piece, maybe it's just me but I've always been fascinated by colour-blindness, if you couldn't give a tiny toss don't click the link.

For the web enthusiasts of little to no skill (amongst which I have to number myself) there will soon be a new website tool to kick the sorry arses of all other website tools right off the field of play. If you would like some tips on how not to annoy potential visitors to your site there is a list here and on reading it I have to agree wholeheartedly with every point bar one, and even then only because I am guilty of it myself; No. 12 the dark page, another website I have www.dirdybirdy.com is black with red text and I like it, I really do; it's slightly menacing and to be honest the website was set up with a limited choice of designs and I liked that design the most, it's a collaboration site as there are two of us who work it and even the imbecile I work with likes it... I don't see what the beef is. Get yer eyes tested if you can't see it, you might be colour blind.

>snigger<

Go Figure.