Why can it never be the ones you want?
always the bloody uglies...
Still even if it was the one you wanted guaranteed they'd already be going out with another boy-band member.
Cunts.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Ugly
Atlantis
So has Atlantis finally been discovered?
Or does it remain nothing but a dreamers' paradise?
sitting on the fence hurts your balls...
Beer
All a man needs apart from sex??
All a man needs...
As far as I'm concerned anyways.
But I will agree with helping me dance although only since 1986...
and that is just the pictures; the stories are slightly different:
Why does this sort of shit never happen to me?
And I mean being near a train that crashes full of beer not being robbed of a shipment of my finest produce for the year...
not like I feel sorry for them (the producers who are insured to their shit!)
I really don't... just myself: cos it was in South Africa and not South London and I got no free beer... there is no justice in the world!
Or maybe there is?
South Park boys?
Ya GOTTA love the South Park Boys;
offending EVERY sensibility they can get their hands on.
I hate to say I have a slight crush on Trey Parker; check him out in rubber in Orgazmo: beautiful boy...
Which brings me neatly(?) onto this link which is Matt Stone's character (I think he's the Dave the lighting guy) espousing his totally straight credibilities and 'offering advice' in the little known (and not so vastly underrated) Orgazmo.
I can't help but love it when there are such choice lines as 'soul-soliciting pig-fuckers' and more too numerous to list here without detracting from the film's appeal.
Ah! If my 'friends' could see me now...
They'd prolly guess that I'd been drinkin.
East meets West
No surprise on the difference in perspective between cultures; but kinda interesting to have certain parts of those differences defined:
East meets West and complimented it on it's outfit
Who'da thought that greed was pursued by goal-driven westeners?
Amazing revelatory stuff...
well credit where it's due (and sarcasm aside):
some hicks might never be privvy to this sort of revelation so maybe there is no stating of the obvious; because not everything is obvious to everyone...
Fire & Ice
Anyone who read the JLA in the 80's would understand that Fire and Ice are a team but in the world of physical reality who'da thunk it?
Kinda cool and any survival tips in front of the pending nuclear holocaust are always handy...
It aint necessarily so...
The things that you're liable to read in the bible...
They aint necessarily so...
But I love the angle this guy is taking: complete in your face challenge of the 'truth' of the bible;
Unicorn turds indeed
I wonder if anyone has bought any?
Friday, August 26, 2005
Who was first?
This is all rather strange; if as might be derived from the second link some of this shit is true then thank god for simplicity.
However unlikely it may seem, some of it blatant propoganda but if true who will be credited with the 'discovery'?
Russians claim on Crop-circles
But did the weathermen or the Japanese get there first?
It'll end up like the whole lightbulb/penicillin thing: Thomas Eddison didn't invent the lightbulb it was a German; penicillin is credited to Alexander Fleming when it was actually discovered by a scientist who liked to watch young (male) horseriders who would rub the mould from the saddles in between their thighs (I would be watching but missing the scientific discovery I'm sure - my hormones have a lot to answer for) to appease riding sores (they had been doing it for hundreds of years). The scientist in question actually sent his findings to Fleming but apparently they were never read and Fleming actually re-discovered penicillin himself, the scientist who originally documented the healing properties of this mould? To me now nameless and to history (almost) also.
I love to present real facts with conviction and no proof...
I'm on a mission:
Convert to Whoozee he'll give you what you need.
Fuck what you want.
Ok... I submit
here is a tint of proof:
although this only shows that Fleming was accepting input and writings and that there were even MORE people who had realised the moulds' properties before he had.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The Onion
Okay...
this a response post:
Crybaby I only just read the post you pinned up on the creationist post I put up way back when and I'm sorry I hadn't followed your progress closely enough to respond sooner...
I am as you say a lazy blogger.
Anyways I can't believe you know of The Onion! (all hail foot!)
I remember these from way back I have a book of collected publications:
'Loved ones recall Local Man's Cowardly battle with Cancer'
'Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell... the expanded inferno... Oprah Viewers Patiently Awaiting Instructions'
'Terrorist Extremely Annoyed By Delayed Flight'
'NFL Star Thanks Jesus After Successful Double Homicide'
'Homoerotic Overtones Enliven NRA Meetings'
2001!... god seems too old for my recollection am I really getting that old so fast?
Who knew they were still going?
Only the faithful, the wise, the informed, the dull? or the old? who could say?
All I can say is not me... and I could be some of those things... and I could not be the others...
Ha!
Maybe there's something I could re-offend with in it...
'Graphic Designer's Judgement Clouded By Desire To Use New Photoshop Plug-In'
it's in there; I wish I were insightful enough to script it myself, alas no.
interesting...
>snigger<.
V for Vendetta
The most exciting movie event in recent history!
For me anyways.
When I read V for Vendetta as a young lad it blew me away: it was my first introduction to Alan Moore, not to take away from David Lloyd at all, but anyone who is anyone knows Moore is a genius and praise the lord for him...
although admittedly he hasn't had much success with adaptations to screen and tends to take nothing to do with them before, during or after.
I am hoping that; with Natalie Portman (beautiful in everything I've seen of her except Padme - Star wars - who was really good in the sweet little film 'Garden State' recently), she so purdy, and Stephen Fry on the job, the script is up to scratch. Pray for good post production because this is one story that deserves to be treated well.
you can find the trailer here:
I'm so fucken excited.
Scanner
Another exciting prospect of a film if ever there was: Philip K. Dick's A Scanner Darkly.
The very nature of the novel is schizophrenic and the way the filmakers have chosen to represent these elements is with animated scenes, more precisely the scenes look like they've been painted over with some software program rather than animated in any sense.
Grimm
Any Terry Gilliam film is going to be an event; the man is a god to me.
But how exciting that the subject of his next film (I don't mean Matt Damon) is the fabulous Brothers Grimm.
This is one to see at a cinema.
A cinema that sells beer obviously.
Lightning Strikes again!
Who says lightning doesn't strike twice?
Is he lucky to have survived or unlucky to have been hit so often?
14 million to one my arse! I even know what the numbers are... would it be worth playing them myself in the british lotto?
Lighting is as habitual a creature as the rest of us apparently...
Go figure.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
This is a funny little site asking you to put in your body weight and your particular choice of poison, to deliver the proposed amount of lethal caffeine.
I have to say what really made this site for me was the comments page (which due to it's popularity has had to be moved to another page so as not to compromise the first pages' bandwidth), check out the comments page man people are hateful!
I say that like I'm surprised.
I'm not, but it is funny how most of the people on-line use any opportunity to slag off other people with such limited knowledge and little real information.
Some of the statements are hilarious and it is interesting to note how many people drag the arguments down to points of punctuation and grammar but my favourite has to be Scott a young American telling other people to learn to use English properly; a language the man himself has less than a passing aquaintance with.
Although it does go everywhere and the old favourites are all there: WWI & WWII, Imperial Vs. Metric, American ignorance and Delusions of superiority and the good old small-minded xenophobia displayed by people with more bandwidth than intelligence.
Is it funny or really depressing?
All a matter of perspective I say.
And funny.
Go figure.
Beowulf
So one of my favourite writers (Neil Gaiman) and a script-writer from pulp fiction (Roger Avary)! Have collaborated to give us a screenplay for a new film based upon the poem of Beowulf; Ray Winstone as Beowulf should be fun if nothing else, the suitably creepy Crispin Glover is to play Grendel but even more suitably is Angelina Jolie playing his mother... how fitting? John Malkovich in a so-far undisclosed role, interesting cast-list to say the least.
Anyways it's being filmed as a performance capture animation piece and I for one am extremely interested to see how it turns out.
2007 seems so far away right now.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Pump action
Funny little short
with really good graphics...
check the highlights and shadows on the blue man.
Trying hard to place the reference tho'
Worldview
This is a REALLY cool site; you can't beat information in pictures for the MTV generation...
Basically it's a site showing various bits and pieces of information on globes.
World views
Thing about something like this is it only makes me think that someone should put all these sorts of information databases into an actual model of the world and I bet it would provide more answers to economic/food/dogma problems than all the sociologists/theologians and politicians combined.
But then having the answers doesn't automatically mean that the holders of power in our ever-increasingly corrupt society would allow them to be acted upon.
How long before people truly realise their power and emancipate themselves from their strange aspiration to oppression? (and how long until I stop blogging pissed?)
Another thing about this particular site is that you can't help but be amazed at some of the statistics in display concerning Japan; I particularly like the satellite shot and the colour of the electrical light buzzing off of Japan as opposed to somewhere like India where you imagine most of the light on display may be firelight...
Fascinates the shit outta me.
Forgotten
Sweet little animation basically re-affirming the charge that children are scary:
watch it twice.
Winesong
I like the style in this short animation piece; nice colours, some of the compositions are beautifully and thoughtfully shot and the idea, problem and conclusion are all divinely simple:
It is a bit sad tho'
Monday, August 15, 2005
Pinkies
Some bright spark has synched Sun-Ra and his Arkestra doing the pink elephant song from Dumbo over the sequence from the film; one of the best sequences of any Disney film.
This was way back when they were innovators obviously and not the cynical mass-marketing machine it is today.
Maybe someone could synch Belly Doing Trust in me over the top of the sequence with the snake in Jungle book, and then who knows maybe a whole website with covers of Disney tunes synched over the original clips from the films.
Nick Cave sings when you wish upon a star from Pinocchio...
ah... that one I just made up.
But it would be funny.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Charlie says...
Italy is nice this time of year I hear
Do you remember when
Crack was cool 1989 apparently.
And with the news that the loophole which allowed people to buy 'magic' mushrooms legally has now closed and that the war on drugs is failing
Isn't it about time drugs were legalised?
then the tax revenues could help to pay for the health problems drug abuse inevitably delivers.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Straight and narrow
This website offers some help to those parents who think their child may grow up to be a raving homo:
With tips on how to reinforce gender stereotypes.
What a bunch of short-sighted bigoted cunts, to quote the film Chasing Amy:
"what is it about a gay man that sends the world screaming?"
slightly inaccurate quotation but I don't have the film to hand
Although it is one of the things left in modern society that offends the bible bashers and the wannabe-macho without either the bible bashers realising that the bible is a POLITICAL document and NOT written by 'GOD'; the whole man shall not lie with man was an inclusion of a pope (I'm thinking Gregory) to stem the rampant homosexuality in the decadent Roman Empire and to promote procreation as the Empire's numbers had started to dwindle upon the recognition (amongst the citizens of ancient Rome) that each sex can pleasure it's own better than the opposite; or the macho bearers of masculinity recognising that by objecting so whole-heartedly they put in question their own reasons for such vehement opposition, as it tends to be a case of methinks she doth protest too much; pure projection upon their own insecurities of sexuality.
People are being killed for this belief and I think it is about time we had a gay vigilante killing the ill-educated and battering the bigoted, riot-poof was the name Tori Amos attributed to this idea and I for one would be glad to assume the mantle.
I mean this is even without taking into account the religious stance being taken against evolution.
The idea that gayness is an answer to some evolutionary blindspot has barely been touched upon, all things in nature have a reason for being there; explore the avenues don't block them off as dead-ends.
Although I still can't see a reason for wasps!
Allegedly they are cleaners of crap, I still don't buy it.
Go Figure.
Editors
From first hearing Munich I knew I was gonna love this band
and they have not disappointed
This album is ALL I am listening to right now:
A lot of bands replicating that Joy Division atmospheric right now with limited or no success
The Editors along with Interpol have IMHO captured the essence (check out open your arms).
Highlights of this album (according to me anyways) are
obviously Munich;
much more so than the second single Blood
Lights is a good track
All sparks is cool
but Bullets is easily the best track.
The Raveonettes
I Love the Raveonettes
Who wouldn't after last year's stonking 'Great Love Sound' which contains the immortal line:
"changing your strut when you know I'm behind you"
Fuckin A-1 class...
well here you can hear the newest offering from them
Beck Hmmm....
This is a funny little clip on the 'church' of scientology
probably putting the guy doing it right in the firing line for their 'Fair Game' policy
and I have to say
Beck I am surprised at YOU!
Fair enough John Travolta and Tom Cruise are avid followers but then they are scared the truth about their sexuality might creep out without the protection of their 'church',
So what do they have on Beck?
Friday, August 12, 2005
Golden Showers
Well what can I say?
I had the most intense experience last night...
Obviously I didn't go to bed as I would never have got up out of bed even had I woken in the morning...
No I decided to sit it out from the other end...
It was amazing even with all the light pollution in London the sky was ablaze last night, the clouds kept a respectable distance between each other to allow the spectacle of the meteor showers through.
and the hours flew by with plenty of strange shaped clouds to fill in the gaps between meteors.
I felt like a kid camping out for the first time sleeping under the stars and it was utterly exhilirating seeing the first meteors streaking through the atmosphere.
Next year I am gonna see them from a mountain top miles from any light pollution...
A couple of planes flew over during the height of the display and I couldn't help but wonder what if anything could be seen from the plane...
I imagine it was spectacular.
I love being a geek.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Dr. Seuss's Bible
Found this silly little clip from
It comes from an old Canadian show called Kids in the hall that I used to watch when I was young, I wonder where the other three who didn't get a part in Will and Grace or The Larry Sanders show went to... guaranteed one's in gay porn coz he was a really bad actor but kinda geeky cute.
Sparkly skies
Tonight sees the peak of the Perseid meteor showers, get your self out in the early hours of the morning and you can witness it in the north-eastern sky (if the skies are clear etc.)
Only that link is from a post on an American site, whereas the one below is from the Royal Observatory in Greenwich:
Only the skies are looking pretty minging right now...
Go figure.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Fucking with Evolution
If proof is needed
that the human race is evil and greedy:
poachers have been overworking the ivory stocks so much that all that is left are the tuskless few who then by breeding actually start a new line of faulty-gened elephants with no tusks... it would be slightly gratifying knowing that they (the poachers) have effectively destroyed their own resources if it wasn't for the price paid by the elephants themselves.
Prophet
Someone should book this guy...
Richard and Judy where are you?
Seriously though what is this guy under???
I would love it to be true only then here I am slagging off the Aliens' representative on earth... which may not be good when they get here...
Unless they are watching me right now!!!
Spammer spammed
This is what I like to see...
Hateful vigilantism
Power to the people
I like the bit where it says that the guy saw it as his right to spam people 'That's what e-mail is for' I think were his words
Yeah and just as much as it IS his right to invade people in such a relentless and aggressive manner
It is also someone else's right to take offence at his actions and bash his fucken head right in...
the world aint all bad then...
White Lines
I love reading up on all the latest findings of studies on drugs like cocaine cos it is interesting to know why it affects people the way it does...
The last report I read told of how Cocaine abuse affects the reward centres in the brain and heavy users effectively lose their sense of wrong and right
This report tells how cocaine abuse can prevent adaptation and where the cocaine-fuelled rats in the study had responded quicker in the first trials and got the food first; when the rules were changed they took longer to understand the change.
Half the fun with blogging this sort of report tho' is the serendipitous finding of what can only be described as a plethora of interesting bits and pieces, try putting cocaine into google's image search and you will be presented with all manner of advertising from long long ago:
Coca-cola for when you feel tired,
Cocaine drops for toothache etc.
Then there were the Bush photos, LOADS of photos of George Dubya with a heavily powdered nose and links like this:
She cannae take anymore Cap'n
Beam me up Scotty...
Ya cannae change the laws of physics
I know this happened last month but I felt it deserved a blog;
The first scot in intergalactic space travel has reached his final destination.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
mirrormask
The new trailer is up for the forthcoming Mirror Mask film
I am so looking forward to this film
Mirror Mask Trailer This new link might not be active for long
Mirror Mask Movie Music Trailer This trailer has music from the movie in it which the new trailer does not apparently
Mirror Mask Website This link does exactly what is says on the tin
The visuals on this are fab slightly annoying that the blurb for the film reads: from the creators of the dark crystal etc... and then lists the Henson workshop as being the creative force and vision behind the film which is a bit piss considering Neil Gaiman and Dave Mckean are the true visionaries for this film Neil for his story and Dave for his artwork which has expanded and transformed to his directing debut... yay the guys.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Chav Central
Oh Argos what would our drab little lives be like without your innovations and wit; your charm and your STYLE...
This is an actual honest to god product and unsurprisingly is now on offer poor poor Burberry: Weren't they once a name?
Cheese and onion pasty flavour... nice.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Immortality within reach
So according to this article immortality is only 45 years away for the rich... add twenty more if you are poor...
Sounds kinda hellish; aren't we already massively overpopulated? Although that is supposedly because only the stupid are breeding...
What would it do to unemployement figures? PENSIONS??? and for twenty years no rich people dying would mean theoretically, in age groupings they would outnumber the rest of us; gangs of Hooray Henry's terrorising the elderly!
And if it takes off?
People would probably stop breeding, the ruling classes would never change, and subsequently neither will the poor elevate themselves... which would then pose the problem if they stay poor do they still die because they can't afford the eternity treatment and would they still be breeding to replace the workforce/prolong their bloodlines?
The ideas floating through society would be stagnant: without fresh insight and the rebellion of youth to address the mistakes of the previous generations how will we see past our own faults?
No it sounds like a hellish propostition and thank god even if I do become massively wealthy in 45yrs time I'll be 75... who would want immortality with a 75yr old brain?
Especially after the years of alcohol abuse I intend to inflict upon myself...
Oh and the immortality offered doesn't actually include your body so don't bother reading all that gumf above... it's just a paranoid fantasy taken to extremes.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Time ring
Apparently they reckon Wormholes that are created for travel between specific points aren't likely to last as long as wormholes that materialise through the laws of quantum mechanics or be useable as time-travel wormholes they also mention in this article:
that the titles to the new Doctor Who have him entering a vortex but no-one knows exactly what his method of time-travel is... I may have found the answer... in the picture above you can see the cover of a book that apparently tells the story of his Time Ring...
Whedon on Wonder Woman
Nowplaying.com have an 'update' on the progress of the Wonder Woman script...
Only it's another chat, mocked up like an interview, with no real content at all but if you, like me, want any tid-bit of information on this project then you will prolly follow the link and you will enjoy it anyways...
God knows I did
Is it just me or does he look exceptionally young in the photo they are using for this piece?
This post also allows me to highlight some rather lovely little pieces of Merchandise... Who wouldn't want one (or two) of these:
and while we're at it this web site does superhero lava-lamps... I'd have to say even though Batman and Wonder Woman way out-cool Superman it's Supes who gets the best lamp designs:
They also have a cool links page with practically everything the superhero geek desires.
Here's another with South Park goodies, Star Wars, X-men, Ren and Stimpy and The Simpsons... I really should grow up:
Bible Code
Well here we have another example of the Bible being misrepresented by the many who 'believe'
Apparently the number of the beast is (according to the oldest (and yet most recently discovered) version of the book of revelations) 616 and not 666 and apparently it was used to represent the Emperor Nero, as it has always been an item of political propoganda and not quite as close to the word of god as many would like to think.
I think the funniest thing about this story is all those heavy metal bands and crappy horror films look so much worse now which is quite unbelievable in its self but think of all those poor satanists: for years composing rituals with the wrong dialling code...
and even had they mis-dialled correctly?
They would be confronted with their new master Nero...
Hey birds of a feather an all that...
But then there is the true threat to consider when dealing with religions... Faith:
Like going with an idea over what is pretty much scientific certainty:
Go figure.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Creatures
Creatures in my head... lots of doodles of strange lil monsters with some funny captions here are two of my favourites:
and here is the main link for the website
What is also cool is that the guy who creates the monsters is having some of his designs made into figurine type toys by this plastics company:
I want one of these:
Shame it says they sold out... Tokyo Toys here I come
What is ultimately ten times cooler is that they accept submissions to create new figures (although not right now - they're busy boys)
HOW FUCKEN COOL IS THAT?
Time to start work on my merchandising lines...
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Purdy
You can view all 48 of the original Simpsons shorts as they aired on the Tracey Ullman show from '87 at this link
Some of the content is down with a promise for it's return in June...
go figure
Blogopoloy
This is quite excellent
I Love the fact that every square is a link to the featured web services... everyone except free hosting that is...
Clor
Absolutely Lovin this video
Clor video
Not much more to be said
check it out you'll see what I mean
Gotta learn those moves man
Feed your head
A new species of rat is discovered on market stall... kebab-stylee
I think what I love best about this story is that the scientists involved have managed to capture one of the rats but they have never seen it alive...
Friday, May 13, 2005
Dave? is that Dave?
Dave? Is that Dave?
Is Dave there?
Wanna buy some Pegs Dave?
How many times am I allowed to use the word excited in one blog?
But I can think of no other way to describe how I feel about this event:
League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse
Except for Totally Peeing my Pants Over-excited-ly
the website is here:
Curse
Another film I'm lookin forward to: Curse of the Were-rabbit
you can catch the trailer here:
And of related interest:
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Duke spirit
My new favourite band: The Duke Spirit
They are fucking excellent you can check out the album here for free and watch the video for the new single Love is an unfamiliar name... check out that drummer man!
Leila (the singer) sounds a little PJ Harvey but dare I even think it... better??
Check 'em out the next big thing is here
and here is a link to their website:
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Sad but true
Well Geekmania is upon us once more and any geek worth his salt is a little excited about the forthcoming revenge of the Sith ... even if we feel we are mostly heading for another disappointment...
this comic strip says it all:
(And who isn't excited about Whedon's Wonder Woman?)
Okay okay I'm a star wars fan, it will never leave me I was one of the very first victims of mass movie merchandising and I'm PROUD of it and who wouldn't be excited about Chewbacca? If you're not, then there's something wrong with ya... go figure.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Time management
This is a sweet and funny lil piece of very basic flash animation - nothing to do with radioactive rubber duckies
time management for anarchists
Monday, May 02, 2005
How not to give a eulogy...
This is one of those lists where most of the content is usually quite shite n trite but this has a few that save it from being tat:
"In a way I blame myself. But not to the extent the authorities do."
"'Better him than me' may sound like a callous remark, but hear me out"
"At least Ben died doing what he loved most - getting into tense standoffs with police."
And the old favourite
"I loved him like a brother. But I fucked him like an uncle."
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