Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Welsh View


I fucken love the Welsh, I used to go camping in Wales when I was a kid; we lived on the borders and drove over regularly. Pistyll Rhaeadr was my favourite spot, I cannot recommend it enough, much like A Welsh View, easily one of the most succesful British Blogs ever.
All of the links in this post have been gleaned from there and I have been sitting on some of them for a while... The oldest one goes back to the beginning of August!

Ahem. So yes, he likes his toys, gadgets and gizmos like most boys.

He retains a childlike fascination for the workings of the universe and the natural wonders of the world around us and I like that.

He is often cool beyond cool, and I cannot stress enough how fucken cool some of the shit this guy pulls out actually is (only if you follow that link to its ultimate destination you will note that the costume is no longer available I think you'll see why here - I hope he wins).

Anyways back to throwing praise upon Mr. Gale, I mean he introduced me to Threadless come on!

He provides some of the best funny too, and like any good geek, he loves his web. What I particulalrly like about that picture is the run-down building of discontinued blogs and I must admit that I too have been guilty; when I started blogging I switched from (abandonded) another blog to this one. I feel it might be time to call it a day on this blog too, I don't seem to have the enthusiasm I once did or the readers. On A Welsh View recently he noted that by posting those pictures of Britney Spears' crotch his traffic surged massively, personally I won't stoop to such methods just to bring in traffic so worry not dear viewer you won't even see Britney's name on my blog let alone her fanny.

Do you think two mentions will be enough?

This blog should probably be on this list.

So there you have it a bit of an all-rounder, he even does educational, potentially useful and fundamental basics.

Kudos my friend, now if only someone would teach him how to get his links to open in a new window...

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Anyone for a cockatoo?


Anyone who doesn't know about b3ta is missing something special in their lives.

Linkbunnies is also worth a check, I mean any site that links to tv go home has to be worth a shitload of something.

This is funny, but only the first three times you watch it.

Give up your dreams, you're too late.

Don't you love it when shit like this happens stoopid believers. Ha ha!

Oh hell let's laugh at the gays while we're at it. Hmmm.

Now for something educational, why not learn a little of a different language?

Ah what the bollocks, back to the funny, followed by some very funny, ending with something bordering on the criminal, and you thought episode one was bad?

Think on.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Venom


So here, if you haven't already seen it, is your first (if slightly blurry) glimpse of Venom from the forthcoming Spiderman 3. Official site here.

There was an unofficial version of the trailer doing the rounds for a while, you can still catch a really bad quality version of it here on Google video, but it has been (sort of) released officially and you can catch a better quality version here, (not a trailer) only blink and you will totally miss it. I have to admit I liked it when they gave him the black costume (in the comics) but I also liked it when they reverted to the blue and red, have to say though I'm pretty glad I'm not still reading comics. Maybe in one of the 'proposed' further 6 movies they'll do a cross over to the Iron man movie(s) much in the way they are introducing the Silver Surfer in the next Fantastic Four movie ready for his own feature. Maybe. Hopefully not though.

Speaking of the Fantastic Four any geek worth his weight in trading cards has already seen the fantasticar... snigger. Still, actually really excited about that one, all for the Silver Surfer... can't fucken wait till we get our first look at that bugger.

Been goin a bit gaga for images from this fucker too. I want to be ten again.

Do I swear too much?

In other film related chicanery went to watch Pan's Labyrinth as it opened the day after my birthday and it is beautiful, harsh and brutal at times but pretty too. Better quality version of the trailer here.

Next I have a couple of film-related articles which I never got round to posting at the time they were current. Go figure. I think anyone who reads this blog (all three of ye) knows what a lazy bastard I can be.

First one was an article on Channel 4 buying Fox's film archive and the second was from Neil Gaiman on film adapting comics, or something like that. It doesn't really matter what it's about it's Neil fucken Gaiman man.

Finally someone should really consider severely maiming Nicholas Cage, he's only good playing stoopid so if he were truly retarded we'd all be a lot better off, I say this not because he's playing Ghost Rider I'll reserve judgement on that and I'm not precious on the character anyways, but to remake the Wickerman as badly as he did he should have been SHOT until he was dead of it. Again that is not why I want him taken out; this article talks about how he want's to play another hero of some sort, who cares right? Oh but despair and quake ye mighty fools... it also mentions in this article that he is REMAKING Bangkok Dangerous NO NO NO NO!!!!

YOU BASTARD!

Bangkok Dangerous is one of my favourite films of all time and it is astoundingly beautiful on every level. I urge anyone with even a modicum of taste to check out the original and boycott that evil bastard's attempts to destroy another cinematic landmark.

Cage wise up, you're shit, anything you touch turns to shit (Correlli's mandolin? Adaptation? Need I go on?) sell the rights to someone who could make an english language version that is worthy of the original, even you gotta know you're gonna make a pigs arse of it.

I WILL hunt you down and pin back your eyelids and make you watch your own crap for all eternity... don't think I won't.

You cunt.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

In the world of science


It was a whole year ago when I blogged about the 'roma' garden pest control system, and at the time someone I showed it to said it couldn't be real based solely on the fact that if this technology existed then surely the military would commandeer it... well now it seems they have.

All our problems solved? I don't think so and I can't even be arsed to say why... go figure.

What? Sorry I've forgotten what I'm supposed to be doing.

Meanwhile... in the natural world this is pretty amazing whereas this is just kinda cool.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Mystery Christmas


Look at the cute lil Scooby crismus decky... aah.

I found the pic whilst searching for Mystery machine pictures as I wanted to express my disappointment that this wasn't brightly decorated with huge orange flowers... yah boo.

Speaking of mysteries I love articles like this mostly for the comments that people feel they have to make, I especially like it when 'well-educated' readers leave comments with atrocious spelling and start little hate wars... I spend more time than is good for me reading those things...

Although it has to be said that I have been absent for nearly one whole month (honestly tho' I don't think anyone has noticed) it has not been due to immersing myself in silly internet pettiness, although by and large... it probably is. Go figure.

Government sucks, Catholics still don't understand how to 'love thy neighbour' and if you think you're being really clever; chances are you're not but then we live in the kind of world where by the power of mass-hysteria vested in the pedo-finder general sees anyone speaking with any sense or rationality (and basic truth) trampled beneath the marauding feet of the local pitch-fork weilding mob but then most people get all manner of things wrong, fascinating.

Yay random linkage!

This was very strange as it was first reported and didn't really become any less strange once things had been cleared up. Sad.

Another really sad story... and someone has decided that Jack the ripper was none other than Freddie Mercury! Thats' right blame the gays.

This was a great story, god bless 'er.

I am usually not one of those 'celeb' obsessed bloggers but somethings are too good not to post, marvlious.

Also on the too good not to post can I point you towards this very not safe for work video of the very sexy Stefan Postma getting bummed by his girlfriend... lovely. What however is not so lovely and not safe for mental stability let alone work is this... yeah I'm sorry but I had to do it.

That is all.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Metamorphosis


One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gnarls Barkley found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.
And it was glorious.
Well everyone by now probably know who Gnarls Barkley are but not everyone will have seen their videos; Crazy being the song that launched them a la Zane Lowe, the first time I saw this video I was kinda impressed by how beautiful it is. Then they released Smiley Faces and the video though clever enough, aint a patch on the song (link courtesy of the wonderful www.dirdybirdy.com). Once again they have released a great video to accompany their new single and y'all have to see it: Gone daddy gone (link from www.milkandcookies.com).
Int that great?
Almost as great as this or this aw; they dead now.
Bless.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Slow week


There is probably no justifiable reason for posting a Pet Shop Boys video, but I like the skittles and you just gotta check out Chris's hair... oh dear. I assume their lettering is correct.

You just gotta laugh or have a moan or cry, Cos sometimes things is just wrong, sometimes, just beyond.

Came across the trailer for the Black Dahlia the other day and got all goosepimply from the expert use of one of my all-time favourite tracks ever - Dirge by Death in Vegas, sublime man, anyways I was reminded of the short clip that accompanies the song on the album The Contino Sessions which shows gun fatalities in America in one day and then had trouble locating it on the web (technical problems - services have been resumed). Whilst searching for it I inevitably found the video that went with the single release but I also discovered that the bird singing on it is Dot Allison from One Dove!!! All this time I never knew or questioned... go figure.

Not sure that I'd bother going to see this though when there's fresh Gilliam on offer.

That is all

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Milk and cookies


Apart from being just the best bedtime combo ever; Milk and Cookies is just one of the best websites out there...

I mean seriously, where else would anyone be considerate enough to point us towards such a niche market as fart-lighters?

The hard-working boys over at M&C's are constantly reminding me why the internet was invented, fucken genius.

If handy bit's and bobs or well cute and funny don't do it for ya how's about a reminder of the brilliance that is Ok Go?

This last link is just out there but it didn't come from Milk and Cookies; truth is I can't remember where it came from but I had to put it somewhere.

You can find the link to Milk and Cookies in the links list on the right.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Think again...


Think bunnies are cute?

Sure... then check out this website of bunny yawns... disturbing isn't the word... I'm with Anya from Buffy... bunnies is some scary shit... check out the General from Watership Down (No.6), the devil-bunny (No.18), demented bunny (No.22), tortured bunny (No.25), bugs bunny (No.63) and the yin and yang bunnies (No.49)

With top scary going to (No.64) the bunny that hides amongst the toys and jumps out at the least expected moment just to gnaw yer face off... I'm gonna have nightmares...

These on the other hand are very cute and even though the science behind these green rats is all very interesting (especially if you happen to be an endangered species) I think the wider implications are not to be overlooked; colour-coded pets and blue-skinned babies will be all the rage come 2012... I can hardly wait.

Assuming we live that long... I think the best thing about this article is that it also provides a link to a history of failed prophecies... nice.

Is this what they mean by tragicomic?

Finally and totally unrelated to anything previous in this post, is this little tool to tell you how much your blog is worth (thanks to Neil Gaiman for this one) and I'm worth more than I thought... yay me!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Magic


Fairies tend to be elusive little buggers at the best of times... so imagine my surprise upon reading this article, following up on it and actually witnessing the phenomena for myself... magic!

As is this and I really wanted one until I read this article... and I can't get the image of me struggling underneath whilst slowly ripping my belly-button piercing out amid pools of blood... cos I would be that stoopid.

Just like believing poets... or that God is good... or Capitalism works... suckers.

Mushrooms however, do work, vodka is bloody great... and Hollywood need to stop making remakes... talentless demograph-worshipping tits.

Finally, make a note to check carefully next time you watch the Wizard of Oz...

Fairy in the picture above came from this site...

and things that make you go hmm...

Go figure.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Borat


I have to admit, although I love Borat I wasn't particularly enthused for a full-length feature... especially after seeing this which is the current trailer, only then I found Egotastic which is a little (actually way too much) celebrity-obssessed to me; but what they do have is this version of the trailer... and now I would actually go and watch it... piss-funny.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Gay


Gay gay gay, the world's bloody full of it... funny but.

More funny though are the 'kids in the hall' and I'm so happy lil bits keep poppin up all over the place (mostly pistolwimp - Yay!) anyways I'm sure you're gaggin to see some more so here is terriers and then here is nipples followed swiftly by a man of destiny ...lovely.

I found this ages ago but due to an extreme and rampant bout of laziness I never posted it... this too (don't touch it), and this and finally this, I have to go lie down now...

Only... ANYONE who can get hold of a set of these should get in touch with me cos I (really really) want them...

Monday, August 07, 2006

Shit floats


God love 'im

'E's only gone an' done it again... Jarvis of the Cocker has made another anthem for the prole... and it's fucken BRILLIANT!!!

It's called Cunt's are still running the world and this little article popped up after much listening of said track and I only wish I had 63 million uninterested third degree 'friends'...

As opposed to just crybaby (if ever a name fitted).

Might I point you towards your own species of down..?

Love and piece and out.

That is all.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Best email ever...


Every Thursday I get a little email that gets me more than a little excited... It comes from the god-like beings over at PopBitch, anyone who is not already on their mailing list should remedy that situation immediately and then just sit back and wait for the goodies... who could ever forget this memorable picture of Celebrity Big Brother contestant Pete Burns? Beautiful.

This week's offerings though are beyond gold... Big Brother's Imogen aint as boring as you thought... Grace on the other hand just goes from vile to ridiculous.

There was also the usual bits of goss to be had; sparklers such as Cheryl Tweedy's (Girl's aloud) admission that she wanted 50cent to come on her face... classy them newcastle birds...

There was also this link to 1500 80's videos which is good if you're needing your A-ha fix...

Plus helpful survival tips: "You can't eat the liver of a Polar Bear as they contain so much vitamin A they are toxic."

That's not all, even the joke was fantastic:

"Sophie Ellis Bextor was found head-butted to death in the apartment of a French footballer. It was murder on Zidanes' floor..."

chucklsome more than incontinence pants time...

And if all that wasn't enough to convince you how great they are there was also this.

Best Email EVER.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

It is contagious...


The picture above is of the lovely Regina Spektor, you may know her from her work on the second Strokes' album or you may have heard her song 'us' on tv as it is featured on an advert for Sky (the one with the guy on the skateboard) and I like it... it reminds me a lot of Joanna Newsom... Whilst on the music front here is some long awaited news on Portishead's next album... Yay!

Musically related are these secret wall tattoos, I'm not 100% what the involvement exactly but Joss Homme (Queens of the Stone Age) has some culpability...

No more musically inclined links as we move on to more general trash...

Came across this website recently Fark.com which has some kick-arse stories that the bigger publications may miss... Genius is a word I am not afraid to use... although holding myself up to be one does somewhat diminish the term...

A bit like the 'war' on terror...

Or Scotland's P.R.

Not like the rest of us Brits get off any lighter in this document... how funny...

As was this although this confuses me as I'm gay, I have one older sibling and she aint no brother... what happened to me?

But then science and nature are wonderous indeed

Go figure.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Love Film?


Want free stuff?
Well who doesn't?

I have been having a ball this summer with tonnes of free dvd's, Heaven.

Basically it's all off the back of those free i-pod giveaway sites, ever the hopeful I wouldn't mind blagging myself one of those. Well basically what happens is you sign up to one of these links:


Freepay or

i-podnano

and participate in one of their offers or more if you feel the need, I took part in four offers in total, firstly because i-podnano refused to credit my first offer and although initially they corresponded with me about the problem, upon sending the proof they requested they then stopped all communication. So really I wouldn't recommend their service as being any good. So I had to take another offer and this time it was credited, but, then I came across Freepay who are offering an actual i-pod as opposed to the weedy i-pod nano. I had to do two offers with them too but only because the first computer I applied on had security measures in place to prevent my application as being recognised.

Anyways the offers I mostly took part in were dvd rental trials and I would recommend you do the same, however be warned about Screenselect as they are really bad; two days to select a title and four days to post whereas Love Film are FANTASTIC: you'll barely be a day without films, I would suggest if you take these trials up that you get the top range package as you will get more films at a time, of course make sure you give yourself enough time to pull out so you don't get charged ( be aware that at weekends - films aren't processed) I say this again in relation to Screenselect who are dodgy robbin cunts... excuse the French...

So go on click on the links, set up an account (Freepay) and rob some free dvd rentals, if enough of you do it (I only need 5!) I should be expecting my i-pod shortly in the post... oh by the way the last offer I took up was with Gala bingo (U.K.) and they match your initial bet up to £10 - I won £200 so if yer feeling lucky (and the offer is still there) try that link.

So there you go begging for a free i-pod, I feel strangely dirty and hopeful, or is that because it's Saturday?

I don't think I have anything else for this post except... did anyone see these: ohmigod I am too excited, somebody slap me.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Something to make you smile


Well hopefully anyways.... first up has to be the photo, it happened months ago but I've been so busy and lazy by varying degrees that it's only happening now for me... Go figure.

Weebl and Bob are still busy hammering away... who knew?

Have you seen the new X-men villain el chupacabra?

Some more old Kid's in the Hall.

U.S. Military make war with love.

Sickipedia collects tasteless jokes for those of us whose only interpretation of p.c. is personal computer...

Have you got any ass-pennies? Probably yes...

Finally in this completely disjointed post of pure links and little rhetoric I give you access to the stars.

Enjoy.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Science corner


Well where better to start my post in Science corner than with this little piece: God is dead after all, only in a godless world; read Americanised global economy, also known as hell, that this sort of behaviour would even be considered. It reminds me of the time that, in the guise of 'helping' third world countries with donations of drugs, some 'first' world countries dumped loads of out of date drugs that would actually cost the poorer countries millions to dispose of legally... that's western charity for ya, go figure. Then I came across this little piece that only reaffirms my belief that drugs should be legalised and taxed; take control away from the crimelords, stop making criminals of normally law-abiding citizens, lose some of the glamour of the forbidden and pay for treatment of those who abuse drugs and end up being abused because of their drug dependencies. Imagine though what the tax income on that one man's habit would have been...

You may be wondering why the picture of Divine in Pink Flamingos? Well let me put you out of your misery, a while ago you may remember I blogged about the gay penguins in a German zoo being allowed to remain a couple (found the post unfortunately the link has died), well now we have two male Flamingos in union and apparently making a great success of parenting that's SO funny: butch pink flamingos! Look at flamingos though, all I can say is I'm surprised it took this long... maybe no-one was watching close enough or maybe it's only now becoming acceptable in bird society to peck open those closet doors. Ain't science wonderful?

Apparently not only has there been more than one big bang but life on our planet dips in accordance to the solar system, fascinating. Strangely (or not so strangely having watched stories almost endlessly repeat in a bid for recognition on the internet for some while now) I blogged about this story a while ago and yet here comes the sun again... (one of the few decent Doves songs), and despite there being a survey recently to disprove horoscopes, there is some evidence to suggest (as I have always maintained) that availability of light at certain times of the year can indeed affect our personality depending upon when we are born.

One of the things you have to love about science is the constant shifting of boundaries when presented with something new, and let's face it: people who express little knowledge of something offer more belief than those who claim full knowledge. As Voltaire said:
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
So who is right and who is wrong? Don't read anything into the way I have presented those arguments, only wouldn't it be cool to scare some people a la 'War of the Worlds' and possibly in my role as social guardian to warn people of the possibilities?

Whatever...

So to the end of the post... and these are the sort of advancements I like to see science making.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Ten penny mix


I came across this website which some may consider to be a tad morbid but does however have some classic last words of famous people among my favourites are Joan Crawford who apparently said:
"Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me."
to her housekeeper, Oscar Wilde's left us with the enigmatic:
"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."
Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary apparently (who knew?) delivered the classic though:
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
He should have asked the Cosmos (no it's not another celebrity/fashion magazine) for some inspiration, although as always in these matters I advise caution and be careful what you ask for, funny thing was through sheer curiosity I wanted to find out what the spanish word for lightning was and came across this useful website that considers bizarre little phrases such as: 'he was struck by lightning' to be needed by anyone wishing to engage in conversational spanish. Another spanish-type phrase that I assimilated this week was: 'Diabolus in Musica' which was in an article about the devil's note, fabulous. Speaking of sacrilege, I wouldn't normally condone anyone covering Pixies songs but Frank Sinatra does 'em proud and the Bee Gees keep true to the source. So no problems there then.
What with there being no Glastonbury this year it seems there's a bit of a scramble on tickets for other Summer fezzies which is a shame but then when Glastonbury returns it's aiming to be a little bigger, so maybe there'll be more chance of getting a fucken ticket next year. God I hope so... better stick that one out to the cosmos... and then get onto making and baking some snacks to take with me... I'll probably need some sausages... and some sweets that could inspire another generation of asbo's to run riot wif no respek'. On the plus side; it might actually teach the yoof how to spell the words they abuse on a daily basis.
Worry ye not, for as we speak big brother is upping his arsenal, but it will we be voiced by some slob with an estuary accent screaming 'Shaadaap!' at everyone.
Escape the stress of it all by floating along the skyline with your face in your groin. Listening to your free i-pod nano; sadly this offer is only available in the U.K. and you do have to participate in one of their offers to be eligible, but just do what I did and pick the free dvd trial cos then you get free dvd's for a month and you get a free i-pod nano!
Marvellous.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Things to make and do


It's been a while since I've been here, I am such a busy boy.

Well you've no doubt spotted the picture of Spiderman in his black cossie, looking lovely; any excuse to use that photo really. No I'm not gonna talk about the film as it isn't quite relevant yet but I did want to post a link to this site that has quite a few pictures of some of the shooting and this is my particular favourite.

I only came across them as I was originally looking for a picture of the X-men and got distracted in geek heaven, unfortunately for those of you who do not share my comic obssession this portion of the post will hold no interest so flick on down to the '*'

Firstly I want to know what this 'other' film is as we all know about the wolvie and mags films and neither of them interest me but this third might... anyone know anything?

Found this really bad interviewer onset for the final scene's shooting of X-3, totally bad camerawork too. Funny artwork and dodgy billing there's better bloody actors in the film than that pair... I was excited to hear of this clip of 'the fastball special' and I nearly cried with laughter at the cheapness of the sentinel... or rather the sentinels head... way to cop out man... closer it gets to this films release, its looking more and more like a major farce. Won't stop me from seeing it though...

* Resume reading:

Other things I will be watching for sure are Channel 4's season of offensive comedy.

If they are in production of a film version of Paradise Lost then I'm going to read for the part of the devil... and probably sacrifice some chickens to make sure that I get it.

One thing I have already seen and would like to pass on is this sweet lil animation called Vincent.

One thing I will probably not be watching (no matter the fondness we hold in our hearts for him) is K-9 on his new adventures.

The BBC are holding some sort of seminar thing for people (like moi) who self-publish and stuff with the net... only it seems they are having diffculty in finding people who would attend... even after the offer of £50 to anyone who goes... think I might just pop along there and then spend the money on one of these.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Bric a brac a blog


This post is a complete mish mash of junk; various things that probably wouldn't support a post on their own but can meld together here in a beautiful mixed-up melody.

Lets start off with this ingeniously simple flash animation on the evils of peer pressure and one-upmanship and the crass individuals who perpetrate such an environment, I would like to say you know who you are, but you're so self-obsessed you can't see past your big fat arse or head. The source of this clip is the ever wonderful fat-pie.

While on the subject of animation I came across this odd little film and this rather wonderful piece which can only whet your appetite for the forthcoming live action Transformers film... no? Just me then.

A smooth leap then from animation to coloured snow... seamless, quickly onto alcoholic houseplants and you hardly noticed the transition did you?

You may be wondering what the picture of the stormtrooper is all about, well I was checking out the prices of fully assembled costumes recently and unless I get myself a new sugar-daddy... I aint getting one of these.

Although if I push it, I will definately be getting a set of these.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Science and religion


Oh here we go again, one of my favourite subjects; creationism up for a 'chinning' courtesy of the Royal Society, god love 'em. I know I'll definately be tuning in.

Not that you can argue with people of 'faith' take this recent study on the power of prayer... better still read this version and you will see the time-honoured tradition of sheer idiocy in the name of god:

"Bob Barth of Silent Unity, said the results didn't shake his confidence in prayer. "People of faith don't need a prayer study to know that prayer works," he said."

Give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves... religious zealots are really really stoopid, but the more stoopid they are, the more intelligent people will turn their backs on organised religion, so it's all good as far as I'm concerned. Although I am interested to hear what a once prominent scientist has to say about religion, so over to Albert.

Also of interest this week has been the story of the Judas gospel although reading this article I am confused as to the timing of the whole thing, the most interesting article related to this story has to be this one, yeah just what are they hiding? One of the more startling links within this article points to this and I can't help but see similarities with scientology: Archons indeed.

By the way if any of you out there are interested in which religion the likes of Spiderman, Daredevil or Batman adhere to you can find out here, smashin, just super.

Finally we have this 'revelation' which makes perfect bloody sense to me.

Go figure.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Scary biscuits!


I don't suppose it's escaped your notice but we could have a real-live were-bunny on our hands...

In other strange animal news a monkey trained to move a robotic arm by thought alone... does what any self-respecting monkey would... and flings his faeces.

Toad problems in Darwin have prompted this genius scheme; Australians and free beer, what could go wrong?

Koala's and crocs are the last animals in this post, but what is it with the Aussies? I'm so moving to the southern hemisphere...

If only to escape 'thought crime' or sheer absurdism or such culturally highbrow events as the launching of the butt-bottle rocket which despite my concerns for the iq levels of today's youth is actually really funny, really, and it's always good to laugh at other people's stupidity.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Insomniacs Ball


It has been more than a fucken age since I went to any fezzie of any sort but an indoor fezzie in London? This is a first, and I like firsts.

My fantastic friend Ann has, in her divine wisdom bought me a ticket for the insomniacs ball and I'm kinda excited; it goes on until 6 the next morning so Friday Morning I'll be walking home along the river Thames sometime in the sunrise, people passing me on their way to work and I'll be pissed... nice, classy like.

So who's on I hear you ask (that was you right... the voices haven't come back... right?) well there's tonnes, a total shitload of new bands Art Brut are pretty good Battle too Black Wire are up there but check out their .tk domain and the free domain offers it's all slightly odd if you ask me... there was another band that are playing here with the same tag Komakino and they is also very good. Not only are Cazals pretty decent but they have a nicely designed website; all funeral parlour Victoriana. Another band with a really pretty website are the Good Shoes but it is also worth popping along to their My Space page and check out the video for we are not the same here, sweet lil indie boys (link courtesy of the beat surrender)

To 50's obsessives The Pipettes love the look love the sound, can't help but think of Sarah Blackwood from Dubstar (remember them?) when I hear the blonde do her bit, apart from the nose job she would have needed and the fact that she is now in Client, I'm pretty sure it's not her.

Another band with the .tk suffix are the Holloways and they are fantastic. As with any fezzie though there is some shit on too... British Sea Power, Vincent vincent and the villains great name, crap music. Dustin's Bar mitzvah, inspired name, rubbish music.

Shame they couldn't swap one of them for The Crimea scroll down for the new video or get it here. Or even the brilliant The Automatic; speaking of new videos, I had an email this morning from Video-C for the new Wigwam single. Wigwam for anyone who doesn't yet know are 80's pop icon Betty Boo with Bassist from Blur; Alex James and what the hee-haw it's kinda fun. I like the nonsensical bits in the middle where she makes mad cat-like noises and the video is funny if slightly reckless; encouraging violence against policemen, like they haven't got enough of that already >snigger<

So this year is already lining up to be a goodie first this fezzie and so far I've got tickets for the O2 festival on the night with Bauhaus, Goldfrapp and Depeche Mode; tickets to see the Knife at la Scala and Radiohead at the Hammersmith Apollo... nice... NEXT!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Bumping Uglies


This is a photo of the father of Bjork's latest output in every sense of the word; their offspring should prove interesting to say the least.

Suffer the little children, come unto me.

Well aside from providing a physical being from their creative output they have also managed to construct Drawing Restraint 9 which looks beautiful but deconstructing it into useful information may prove difficult, but then you get the feeling it is intentionally so.

This comes primarily (I say primarily and I 'prolly' mean exclusively) from "Pink is the new blog" a blog I first encountered upon my heady introduction to the world of blogging, and has remained a constant source of decent info (lost spoilers especially) ever since, but then I doubt anyone who reads blogs isn't aware of the lovely Trent and his o.c.d.-like ramblings of Mrs. Federline, as the guy is uber-blogger and without him I would not have known this film OR it's soundtrack existed.


Anyways... on with the post, there is an old quote which goes something along the lines of: "art is knowing who is conning who..." Although OBVIOUSLY I am gonna go see it; I love Bjork, I love foreign films, decent cinematography and I'll buy any old shite so long as it's purdy or well done.

While the soundtrack may be one of the finest things Bjork has done (not my words as I've never heard the whole thing although the snippet you get with the trailer is beautiful and enticing) Matthew Barney is in my opinion... not.

Now don't think I'm bemoaning the fact that people with great minds and personalities get laid because if we all followed a Hollywood body ideal we would none of us get any and I would get even less... but Bjork fucks ugly guys (God bless ol Goldie) what can you say?

Although I am reminded of the old favourites: ' beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone' and my personal fave: ''The saying that beauty is but skin deep is a skin deep saying'

I know...

I'm mean...

I'm purdy... but only in name...

Go figure.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Chikinki



Just the one band in this post, as opposed to a whole host of new music; Chikinki, they aren't even that new to be honest, I first heard all eyes well over a year ago but they never seemed to catch which is a shame cos they do some good stuff.

The video for Assassinator is quite cool and funny and they get nekkid...

If you wanna check out their music there are various places to preview, such as their web-site Chikinki click music then listen to music and scroll to the bottom for All Eyes the video is pretty bog-standard but the tune is sublime, if you want more then some kind person has posted some live stuff over at myspace and X-Fm have posted a few live sessions.


All fall in love with them NOW!

Monday, March 13, 2006

S.H.D


Sexual Harassment Dalek...

Tom put him down... that's not for you...

What is he doing? Well when he's not fondling mass-murdering cyborgs he's reading the dictionary. There are a lot of sites decicated to the best doctor who (ever) so if like me you revere La Baker you should check some of em out.

On the subject of relative cool this little gem was brought to my attention by the uber-cool Neil Gaiman, how great would it be to have secret passageways, or better still, somewhere to put them.

More uber-coolness in this inspirational little piece, maybe it's just me but I've always been fascinated by colour-blindness, if you couldn't give a tiny toss don't click the link.

For the web enthusiasts of little to no skill (amongst which I have to number myself) there will soon be a new website tool to kick the sorry arses of all other website tools right off the field of play. If you would like some tips on how not to annoy potential visitors to your site there is a list here and on reading it I have to agree wholeheartedly with every point bar one, and even then only because I am guilty of it myself; No. 12 the dark page, another website I have www.dirdybirdy.com is black with red text and I like it, I really do; it's slightly menacing and to be honest the website was set up with a limited choice of designs and I liked that design the most, it's a collaboration site as there are two of us who work it and even the imbecile I work with likes it... I don't see what the beef is. Get yer eyes tested if you can't see it, you might be colour blind.

>snigger<

Go Figure.

The walls have mice... the mice have ears


The title is the original saying from war propoganda posters that was eventually shortened for modern usage into 'the wall have ears' well the job of spying it seems, is firmly back with the mice.

All the items in this post are utterly un-related apart from a single thread of weirdness that permeates them all.

Any excuse to ridicule religious nuts is always welcomed as is the chance to highlight some spectacular stupidity.

While quite sad (especially for the guy who has to help him up the ladders) this is kinda gross.

This is just stoopid and this is funny as fuck whereas I don't really see the point of this but we like to think we're helping.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Music news


Currently I is listening to Maximo Park - A Certain Trigger, constantly that is, it's a class album and I urge everyone to buy a copy. The best tune on it has to be Once a Glimpse but all of it is fanfuckentastic, anyways on with the post:

Check out the new Gorrilaz video El Manana it's quite sad; it's a follow on where the feel good inc. video left off with the helicopters chasing after the windmill,I really liked that windmill, I wanna live in a windmill or a lighthouse, bastard helicopters.

I was quite excited to hear about this planned radiohead covers album and can't wait to hear Sia's Paranoid Android, but, erm I don't know who any of the others are, anyone who does, feel free to leave a comment or email me purdy@dirdybirdy.com.

The lovely Milkandcookies.com has once again caused pant-leakage with this invaluable little gem of The Flaming Lips and Cat Power performing together and this funny little video from the lovely Milla Jovovich, it's a good video but the song isn't one of her best... didn't know she recorded music? well then you should check her out cos some of the tunes are actually really bloody good.

If anyone saw the recent NME awards show you will have seen a young guy who goes by the name of Plan B and although I hate rap (it's way too aggressive and hateful - I think Dylan Moran summed it up best in his monster dvd) I thought that this guy was fucking excellent I have also heard snippets from the album and I was well impressed to hear the opening of the first song cos he's sampled the beginning of Pyramid Song by Radiohead and it's nice. If you didn't catch the performance there is a video of it on the NME media player (link on right of NME home page) and it's well worth registering for. Alas the fly in this otherwise beautiful ointment is his choice of single; you can catch the video here I saw this ages ago could've been like a year ago or something and I thought interesting video but the song is fucken dreadful: 'stab you in your eye though with a biro' God Grow up man, there is a difference between gritty reality and glorifying violence, I only hope that his gigs are full of hateful bastards like himself and someone shoots him cos that's the sort of shit this crap promotes, anyways other than this single some of his other stuff is quite good and clever but I have a funny taste in my mouth for promoting him when I really all-consumingly HATE the single. I think I'll write a rap about it.

You can also listen to the new Delays album on the media player and the new sound has me creaming in me knicks.

Doesn't scan?


April 29th 2005 I posted about the first male pregnancy and nothing has been disclosed since... I would imagine that the actual birth would get some sort of coverage so I thought I would check out the website to see what progress had occurred only there doesn't seem to have been any, if anything he looks smaller rather than fuller. So off I trotted to the FAQ page and the first question is about his due date... only there isn't one, now I'm definately no mathmetician but if he was impregnated (I assume, before I heard about it to blog it) around the time I posted the blog then hasn't he been pregnant for 11 months?

How does that work?

Weird and wonderful world


This picture is a new kind of lobster just recently discovered in the South Pacific (that's the ocean not the musical) and isn't he odd and strangely cuddly looking... unlike the large lobster recently found in Tasmania which is just scary and quite gross.
Other recent discoveries in the world of science include a survey that seems to indicate that ugly people are more likely to commit crimes... which seems like a totally preposterous conclusion to draw from such a survey as there are many factors why people commit crimes, mostly poverty, addiction, peer pressure, but there are people who commit crimes without even knowing it depending what strange and often archaic laws remain in place; one of my favourites is that all London cabbies have to carry a bale of hay by law, a remnant of times long passed when horses pulled the cabs. Then there are the people who know the law and use their knowledge to engage in morally dubious business practices, lawyers for instance, and finally there is the fact that power corrupts and politicians pass more and more legislation to grant themselves more and more power and control, oh but then thinking on it >woof< look at Michael Howard or Anne Widdecombe (god bless 'er and all who sail in her) maybe there is some truth in the ugly theory after all, two words: Cherie Blair. Whilst on a crime-related theme I have to admit I was impressed by this burglar's M.O. ingenuity like that has to be admired but I wonder what he would have done confronted with this particular aroma.
It's always good when you read things about your own personal vices having benefits of sorts.
A while ago I blogged about the Philip K. Dick robot and then shortly after it went missing... how the fuck do you lose something like that?
W.T.F.? no seriously though, what the fuck?
This is cool though, this is odd, aproaching David Icke odd, this is fascinating and it's good to see that scientists can think outside of their firmly defined boxes once in a while.
Finishing this post I am gonna link to some amazing images that are also from some very interesting articles. Enjoy x.
P.S. stop wanking.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

X-men Ah-gen


Yeah the title is a hard 'g' as in again but metered to match X-men... least I think so, feel free to differ and moan about it to someone other than me coz I don't give a shit.
And so with such friendly introductions let's proceed with the post:

Firstly everything I've posted about the film before seems to be true and there are more revelations here but I think some of them need to be taken with a pinch of some salt substitue as salt is bad M'kay and the picture above is Rebecca Romijn-Stamos who plays Mystique after her encounter with the anti-mutant gene serum... god that's even dull to say/type but without her mad make up (she looks SO fucken cool in the comics with her little skimpy dress cossie thing and skull belt buckle) she is fucken hot... pretty lady.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know that I am a comic book geek and whilst not as vociferous as some (although read on and make up your own mind) of the 'fanboy' generation I do have my reservations about the upcoming X-Men movie, namely the first two films.

What I think many of the comic book fanbase needs to realise is that Hollywood needs the comic book industry for ideas it is rapidly falling short of and a captive market audience that will slavishly devour whatever product is heaped upon it but in the process of studio interference etc and the drive towards fiscal rewards many things are lost and forgotten primarily, in my opinion that they are using mass-marketing techniques on a crowd that will not tolerate it and why? Because in general the comic book aficionado is already outside of the mainstream, we maintain our elitism for a reason; it means we differ from the rest of society but not on the grounds of socio-economic status or any of the usual trappings; it is as we are intellectually naked (like everyone is) but we are admitting it and enjoying our social exclusion with the background of some very fine artistry (in my time it was John Romita Jnr., Marc Silvestri, Brett Simpson and Mike Mignola) and when elitism is punctured by crass popularity the object of our affections becomes destroyed. (the following examples are very U.K. based - sorry)

Dandy Warhols killed their cool with a vodafone advert that opened them up to everyone and now they're shite.

The Ordinary boys were on the verge of cool when Preston went into the celeb big brother house and now they are the biggest bunch of toss regardless how good the music is.

Arctic Monkeys god bless 'em; (hate that I might have aided the phenomenon) loved loved loved the music but now they are 'everyone's' I have no interest in knowing more; conglomerate corporatism doesn't understand the need for things to maintain their personal closeness and the search to provide 'individual' mass production will only be acheived by making us all the same consumer, which (I hope) will never happen but it is what business wants: an easy sell. It's all about making the most amount of money, there is no product loyalty, there is NO consumer loyalty and so from this blatantly anti-capitalist rant here are the links >heh!<

This was the latest from the original source of the leaked script and what I loved about this page was that the link they post to: Miss Lady Venus was dead within hours of them posting that 'we' need not worry about things like dead links etc. Yeah great...

Anyways back to the topic of the post... you can catch the official trailer for the new (and allegedly final - of this three film storyline) here and it aint that hot.

Things that really bug the shit outta me though (and here comes the fanboy!) are the character fuck arounds like Rogue: can't fly aint invulnerable or super strong, no former relationship with (her step-mom) Mystique, Iceman (A FOUNDING FUCKING MEMBER!!! In the 60's!!!) is a teenager... FUCKEN WHY???????

The new fuck arounds come with Psylocke... one of my favourite characters until they fucked her over with a new japanese body storyline crap... she was English and I kinda liked that... and she was weak and strong and now she has been apparently HIDEOUSLY misrepresented...

My opinion for what it's worth (even though I WILL see the third film -even with the shite Colossus suit... check the trailer and Leech isn't green or odd looking and tha sucks like greedy bastards) is that all of the X-men films are SHITE.

So there.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Placebo


Ah so the lovely Mr. Molko n ko are back yay I hear you say! Well wait until you've heard the new single (only this and the official site site suck a bit in the quality stakes... nice quality hi or crappy low... no midrange or the option to download it at your own speed but playback in high quality WHICH SUCKS by the way); it sounds like old album filler crap Uh-oh! God I hope the rest of the album is better, usually each album has been preceded by an excellent first single, this does not in my opinion, bode at all well, still as long as he's cute I'll still go see 'em live.

Finally the Knife's Silent shout video has been placed online you can find it half way down the page here (U.K. that is - other countries will have to check their own Yahoo music sites to see whats on offer).

Totally non-music related but honestly check it out WTF??

Finally totally unrelated to any of the other subjects in this post is this.

Geek Alert!


You have been warned...

Lets start with something that every computer user should be aware of, and move swiftly on to something I think every photographer should know about, ending this section of shoulds: with something that should be read by anybody interested in science; it's a blog the way they should be and it's bloody interesting and it's handled bloody well if ya ask me.

Who'da thunkit? Mainly that the 'Dick robot' is not what you were really hoping it would be... but its' still bloody cool.

News that Aardman are branching into CGI.

Ending with a small collection of bits dedicated to 'the best supporting character... everrr'.

Place your votes now for laziest blogger... everrr.

Oh my!


Well anyone with half an inkling will tell you that C3-P0 and R2-D2 are like totally gay, check the photo above to see R2 taking a whole foot!
Well in the recent flurry of excitment over the 'mainstreaming' of gay issues in America, this is where we're at now.

Although I would encourage you to check out this warning firstly, before watching any film...

And whilst on matters homo it's really heartening to see couples sticking it out.

And as Anyone knows the gays do good interiors; and I do dubious links but check out the heating that I WANT in my house...

This last story just shows that Google are 'gay'! (worst link ever...).

BTW the film clips were found on this excellent site: Milk and cookies.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

More music


PJ Harvey is undeniably a goddess and her new song is classic Peej.


On the other end of the music spectrum; Madge has been gettin about a bit lately and I think her disco sound is ok but the 'disco dancing granny in a leotard' look is so no go.

The Cardigans have a new song out and I don't know I love the Cardies but this is all fart and no substance, the video has a cool look but it's a confused song that's nowhere near as clever as their older stuff.

Of course because it's Valentines day I am gonna include a brief history for you, and remember romance kills.

Aliens in the attic


Who doesn't have one nowadays?
They're all the fucken rage, oops no wait sorry they just went out... again... too slow.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Ok Go


Ok Go get the title for this blog purely based upon the new video a million ways it's funny as all hell, shame the guy in the glasses is the worst dancer cos they is some slick moves boy...
The song's quite good too. Whilst searching for the full video I came across this rather cool site, which in turn lead me to this one where I saw this and it reminded me I have to get the 8" design your own Qee.

The now well established Arctic Monkeys have released a new single and the opening riff is fantastic. You can check out the whole video here, this Video-c site is quite good (whereas gigwise.com have a better selection they even have idiot pilot who never get covered anywhere bless 'em, lovely boys) but slightly annoying in the respect that some videos are only snippets and you vote for them... I don't know if voting means that they will then go on to post the full versions but if it does then you all have to go and vote for the Knife's new song and the Delays too, or if you can't be arsed to wait then you can catch the full video for the Delays new song Valentine here. The Knife however I fear we are just going to have to wait for.

The Sunshine Underground however do get a full video posting so it's worth checking them out... and not just because the drummer looks cute, although speaking of cute Four day Hombre has just become my new boyfriend, only I'm not sure how to break the news to him... if anyone has his phone number... mail me.

He sounds a bit like Elbow. There is a bigger and better quality version here.

The final piece of music is from Sia, I love this girls voice and this video is brilliant; I love that polaroid/animated technique.

Hopefully the posting will be more regular from now on. Adieu.